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Anonymous asked:

do u have a penis


of course, what kind are you in the market for? this is the penis store after all. we have penises of all shapes and sizes here. this one is on a buy one get one free offer, so you can interchange them as you wish or just keep one spare in case of an accident. this one comes with unlimited warranty, unlike the rest which only have three years, but at the same time it’s a little more pricey than the rest. quality penis, though. oh and this one here we use to hit people over the head if they ask ridiculously invasive personal questions


when my dad was in law school he knew these two girls who told him “people look at us like we were meat anyway so we decided to make some money off of it” so they wore bikinis and high heels and sold WAY overpriced hot dogs as a way of financing their education. they graduated summa cum laude with no debt and let me just say i have never been so inspired

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